For some people, especially women, the pressure to settle down can be heavy, especially when you hit that number called 30. Pressure starts from all angles, be it from well meaning parents, people, or friends who are married or engaged, with baby number 1,2,3 and yet here you still are….older and single.
So when one of the music industry’s most under-rated artists, Mya, dropped the video to her song “Truth” showing her getting married…to herself; It was confusing. But the song and video was to highlight the importance of being whole within yourself first, before saying I DO to anyone else (and end up regretting it!)
So next time people and life got you feeling down that you are not married with kids: Shift your perspective- The grass is green on your single side too!
From one singleton to another- Instead of thinking how the grass is greener on the other side of the non-single life, here are some reasons to help you join the club of loving being with just yourself until you meet the RIGHT PERSON😉
1- You get to make you the only priority
When you are single, your time, space, love and energy does not have to be split between you and the other person. You don’t have to make compromises to accommodate someone else’s feelings and needs. Being single allows you to be completely selfish and focus on self-care. ENJOY THIS because this little piece of freedom will have to be chipped away when you have one extra person to make room for.
2- You have time to get back to YOU and focus on what you want
Sometimes, you can love someone but in the process lose yourself. Do you know who you are now that you are single and the relationship has ended? or did your identity become so wrapped up in the other person that you have lost your own?
Being in a relationship with just you to answer to is not as terrible as it may seem. Use this alone time to focus on you and what you want without having to care or check how it will make someone else feel.
3- You have the option to meet new people (if you want)
Being single opens you up to being free to meet new people- be it building new friendships or dating someone new; being single gives you the option to mingle with different people. You’ve got 365 days to spend with who ever you want.
4- Your own space (physically and mentally)
If you experience a break up and have had to move out of each other’s space, the empty space can feel lonely at times. But on the other hand, having your own space can be a chance to enjoy being able to just have things the way you like them. No one to clean up after or if you prefer being messy, no arguments needed on how you should behave. No need to make any compromises or sacrifices. Your space, your way.
5- A chance to let a rubbish relationship go (and make space for better ones)
Some of us stay in a relationship with someone for all the wrong reasons that we convince our-self are right. If someone does not respect or value you, stop making excuses for them, let them go and try it out on your own. How will you know that you are capable of life without them, if you never give yourself a chance to prove it.
Number 7:- Time to work on me
Being single is the PERFECT time for us to work on ourselves. Use it as time to clear any negative baggage from your self so you don’t bring it into a new relationship. Some relationships could work out if both partners changed their bad habits BEFORE entering into a relationship. Self esteem issues? Still in love with an ex? Trust issues? Attitude problems? Debt problems? Dealing with a gambling problem?, No job or life goals?….the list goes on….. Use the single stage of your life to identify and work on areas of your self that could be improved on or that you are not happy with so that they don’t cause issues for your next relationship.
“I’m not really single….I’m just dating myself right now”😊
Number 8-: ———————————————- Fill the blank for yourself. If you are single and reading this, come up with some benefits of your own of being single. The grass is green on your side, don’t compare yourself with someone else’s relationship.
Enjoying the single stage of your life does not mean you won’t feel lonely at times and frustrated. But learning to love being with just you will ultimately serve you in all relationships.
Relationships come with it some work and some unhappy moments too. So enjoy the work of being in a relationship with just you.
Single just means more time to give yourself some self love and self care so embrace it and stop trying to replace it with someone.
When a relationship fails- it can be a blessing in disguise😊